This was going to be a very different post. The first half went smoothly enough but an hour into the second half Saturday became arseholes night. At MAA two men restrained their friend who was trying to kick my train as it came into the platform, his foot vs. 150 ton of 92 stock, guess where my money is on that contest. At NOA a man so drunk he was zigzagging the width of the platform as he headed for the exit, knocked it into Coded and pulled out very slowly.

But utter arsehole to the night goes to the idiot at BAN and I have to say this is something that got me fuming. BAN is one of the stations where we are instructed to say “mind the doors” every time rather than when necessary, even if it’s empty we make a PA. So SONIA has done her bit telling the passengers where they are, where the train is going, then I do a “mind the doors”, hit the “close” buttons, a good 30 seconds, plenty of time for everyone to get off, and just as the doors close this bloke jumps off the train.

He then tries to pull the door open and eventually I open up the doors again. Off jumps his dog, not on a lead, who starts running around the platform and I am furious. Railways are dangerous places, we’ve got trains thundering about, we’ve got 640 volts going through the traction rails, dogs can get hurt and that is why it is we insist that if you bring a dog on the Tube it must be on a lead at all times.

Worse are escalators, a dog can get it’s paw caught in the “teeth” and that is why we insist that dog’s must be carried on escalators, if they are too big to be carried then use the fixed stairs and if there are no fixed stairs contact the station staff and they will stop the escalator so you can walk your pup up. I did this at Paddington once for a guide dog, much to the annoyance of the other passengers but they’ve got eyes, that lady needed a dog to get around, she gets priority.

Which reminds me that I picked up a MIP at MIE; the CSA put them on board and when we got to LIS there was another CSA to escort them them to either the Circle and Met platforms or up to the mainline. When the station staff cuts come in February things might get a lot more difficult if you’re not fully able.

Anyway back to dogs on the Tube. I made a PA asking the man to put his dog on a lead but he just strolled off with Fido running around sniffing everything as dogs do. Now I adore dogs and I was livid, anyone that careless of his pet’s well being shouldn’t be allowed to own a dog; hell, they shouldn’t be allowed to vote, they shouldn’t be allowed to breed. There you have my opinion, the punishment for lack of care for your pets; sterilisation.

Remember that little phrase “dogs must be carried on escalators”; doesn’t it sound as if they are compulsory, “no dog, take the stairs”. You could start a business hiring out Chihuahuas at stations.

All I’m saying is if you are taking a dog on the Tube, if you love and care for it which I’m sure you do please, please look after it. Keep it on a lead.